Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
