just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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