why didn't you poke me back
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
