i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
