I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
