Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
