I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
honey bunches of taint.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize