She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize