Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
did i just pee glitter
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
