But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
