You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
