your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
