the condom got lost in my hair
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
