don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
sex in a hospital.. check
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize