If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
