That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
