But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
