I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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