My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
