i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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