he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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