I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I think people are normalizing furries
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize