I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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