Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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