Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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