I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
