I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize