A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude i'm inner monologue high
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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