Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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