Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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