your parents love me but you hate me
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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