One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
