and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
