I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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