Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
