If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
