I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
