i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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