How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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