So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
