I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
