How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
