the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
