someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
