question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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