spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
