ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
