He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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