how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
