he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
