Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
