I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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