WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
