tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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