honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize