That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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