I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
