i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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