Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
