Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
