Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
