I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
